To remember.

I like to go back into the past from time to time. To remember. Things, People . . Good and bad, doesn’t matter. Everything to me is an experience. I don’t have regrets about anything I have done in my life. I accept my past, decisions I took. I accept who I am now. When I am not happy about something I do (referring more to behavior, not about the material things) I change it without fear. I live the present and try not to think about the future so much, because I am aware that tomorrow might never come. I have Desires, Hopes and Faith. Courage and Love – lots of – for people that are part of my life, for the unknown, for animals, music, literature, flowers and rain. I tried for so many times to change people in good (like I ever had this right…). To give them from what I’ve learnt. That’s all I ever wanted to do. Sometimes, I admit I wanted them to be as me. But was I perfect? Definitely, no. Was I good and right? Definitely Yes! I realized that they do not listen. I’d not listen either. My mom used to tell us “No matter how bad I try to tell you to not go there because you’ll get hurt, you go. Go dears, go. But if get hurt, get hurt well. Suffer and remember my sayings.” Of course what she always wanted was to defend us. She couldn’t stand to see us suffering. Never! She was always there for us. She was mother, father, friend, everything you want. She gave us all the love and freedom. It’s exactly what I am now “love” and “freedom”. It’s exaclty what I like to share to the others. Some listen and do believe in my honesty. Some think I am fake. Well I accept that too – I read somewhere this: “I am not a Facebook status. You don’t have to like me”. It’s true. You can hate me. “If you hate me, I’ll always be in your mind. If you love me, I’ll always be in your heart”. So you decide. For your own peace, I recommend you to love me 😉 People should  open thier heart more, allow the love to get in. For all this you need to train yourself. Every single day. You go to the gym to not get fat, to lose kilos or to mantain your body healthy. Right? You go to school to learn how to write and read. Once you finished school, once you are a mature person you decide who you want to be. Everything in life is about learning. I learn photography, so I can make better pictures. I learn to become a better person, yes. Why do you look at me like that? We must train ourselves, but only if we want! I can’t change you. But you can change yourself. A friend yesterday told me “I don’t have time to learn myself. Plus that why I’d want to learn my defects? I don’t want to know them.” I was a bit shocked by her attitude. By her ignorance. She isn’t happy with her life, with who she is. She judges a lot. She gossips and so on. Why? Because she has time to do it. But no time for herself. Ha! No time for wanting to know her defects, her imperfections and to accept them. “No time” said she. Excuses darling. But you know what, next time when you judge the others think twice. Think about you, about who you are. Think a little if you’re really content with You. YOU are important! Not the others. For that I sometimes go back in time. And I adore who I was. But I love more what I am now, as human being. 

Photos taken in 2014 with my first compact camera. They, aren’t bad at all, are they? 

16 thoughts on “To remember.

  1. Ah, I love to know more about the lady behind the camera. I can see from the photos there is great depth, each picture an introspection reflected from the subject and how it is captured. There is wisdom born of experience in your words. There is courage and awareness in sharing how you feel and what you see like the flower that blooms with each day. More petals open to the sun until finally the soul of the flower is revealed. Such is the beauty of your photography and your words over these few years. Thank you, Alina. What you share has always brightened my day.

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    • As always, Thank you Daniel! It’s true this post is about the experiences I’ve had in life with some people. They do complain a lot about anything, but do nothing to change what they do not like about thier life/behaviour. They gossip like it’s something normal, part of their life. I don’t say these are bad people. Not at all. I am just disappointed that they are so. Disappointed and somewhat sick to take all the negative emotions. In life, we all have problems. It’s alright – “cry” if this makes you feel better but respect and listen the others too. While we’re crying we don’t realize that time flies and what we do? We continue to cry and tell anyone we can that we don’t have time. We have plenty of time, we just don’t know what to do with it. We can do lots of beautiful things but no, we prefer to judge others who want to grow; we wish more to be or to have what the others are/have, instead accepting the condition we are in now – this if we don’t have the courage to change what we don’t like. We have this power of change in our hands but we can’t see it. We see the others more and forget ourselves, that’s why. Some don’t even care.

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  2. I’ve struggled with this very thing all my life. No matter where I am or who I am with, the majority of people will hold themselves down if to achieve their life goals requires much effort. I have been one to always seek the limits and boundaries of all that I am, always pushing those limits and boundaries out wider and further. My life has been full with every emotion felt in great depth. This is primarily why I am always alone. Few, if any will ever follow or try to keep up. I don’t love or respect them less, I just know that they will dream and I will do. And for those people, like yourself, that are experiencing life in positive and creative ways regardless of setbacks, I feel a bond of friendship that fuels the smile on my face and the light in my eyes. Never let the anyone hold you back, take them along or let them stay home. Where would we be if all the great achievers in history let the negativity of others or the harsh disagreement stop them from achieving the great examples of what humanity is fully capable of? No, we must continue our journey, we must find our own way. You are a very talented and thoughtful person, Alina. You take us along with you through all you share. I am always grateful for your kindness expressed so elegantly in your photos, comments, and deeds.

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  3. So much to reflect on in this wonderful post of yours Alina. The gallery of images is, as always, so memorable and your words are full of life and meaning. You’re in my heart for sure 🙂

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